💍 When Will You Marry?
Spits out absurd timelines like "in 306 years" because love has no schedule. Our totally scientific algorithm considers your pizza preferences and sock-wearing habits! 💕
Tell Us About Your Love Life (Or Lack Thereof)
Your Romantic Journey Statistics
0
Predictions Made
0
Total Years Predicted
Optimistic
Current Hope Level
0%
Reality Check Score
Pro Romance Tips (From Our Experts)
Remember: If our algorithm says 306 years, that just means you have plenty of time to work on yourself!
Pro tip: Lower your standards. Not your self-worth, just your Netflix preferences compatibility requirements.
If you get a negative timeline, congratulations! You're apparently supposed to have married in the past. Time travel required.
Marriage is just finding someone who annoys you in a way you can tolerate for the rest of your life. Aim low!
Remember: This tool is about as accurate as your horoscope, but with more commitment anxiety!
🚨 Legal Disclaimer (Because Lawyers Exist)
This marriage prediction tool is for entertainment purposes only and should not be used to make actual life decisions. We are not responsible for: broken hearts, unrealistic expectations, premature wedding planning, existential crises about dying alone, or any attempts at time travel to meet past marriage deadlines. If you actually plan your life around this prediction, please seek professional help (and maybe a dating coach).